Skipping the age story (still not the right time), I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about Beauty--what it is and how we know something/-one is beautiful. And since I'm a man, I'm going to be biased toward women's beauty.
First off, I have to say I disagree wholeheartedly with the thought that beauty is only skin deep. I think that is a shallow definition of the word and espoused by people only slightly less shallow. (In four months I haven't really become any less judgmental.) But I wholly agree that ugliness runs to the bone. (This doesn't refer to the physical definition.)
People manifest beauty in many ways. We obviously think of beauty in the physical sense. We see magazines glorifying this type of beauty at every checkout register of every grocery store. But how many delve into a more comprehensive definition of beauty? How many of us look beyond the face to see what's inside? Innate talents and personality greatly affect my vision of another's beauty.
(I should note that everyone has different ideas of what constitutes beauty. It could include intangible character traits such as intelligence, courage, daring, wittiness, or stubbornness. Or beauty could include very specific physical characteristics--fingernails, eye colour, or hair length. I give these only as examples, not as conclusive exposés of what I consider beauty.)
Women generally become more beautiful to me as I learn more about them (sometimes this goes in the reverse). Perhaps this is a mental connection I make as they talk about who they are. Also my observations of women's actions/abilities change how beautiful they are to me. Also my interpretation of beauty is affected by how similar she is to what I think beauty entails, whether it be physical, mental, emotion, personal, etc. The closer she is, the more beautiful I consider her.
Two examples may help illustrate. To me, a woman with little physical beauty is much more beautiful when I hear her classically-trained voice. This not physical characteristic makes her more beautiful to me. Or if she shares goals/aspirations/opinions (although disagreeing with me can be more attractive (depends on the topic)) with me, she immediately becomes more exciting/attractive/beautiful.
I guess what it comes down to is that certain characteristics people have, certain things they say/do are considered beautiful. These add up to (hopefully) overcome areas where they are not as beautiful as another.
But, all that aside, women who try their best to be beautiful should always be praised for their efforts--in whatever manner they add to the world's beauty.
I find it highly amusing that one of the labels for this post is "chickens".
ReplyDeleteBut I've noticed the same thing, except obviously for guys. Usually, whether I initially think a guy is good-looking or quite the reverse, if I get to know him better, there is this point in time when I really don't notice his level of attractiveness at all. I think this is usually when we are starting to become good friends. And then, provided the whole friendship thing works out positively, I still mostly forget about it, but when I pause to think about it I realize I've decided he's quite good-looking. I guess sometimes I'll qualify that with "but not in the classical sense", but still. Point being. Often, both overall attractiveness and perceived physical beauty really do depend strongly upon someone's personality.
That must be a relief to 99% of the population, phew!